Saturday, June 11, 2022

Y'all MFs Need Jesus

Yes you do, as grandma didn't used to say... because we were Jews, for Chrissakes.

But we're dead set against religious dogma and the coercion that goes with it.

Our job is to lure you to come to Jesus, by showing you The Light and The Way.

Only then, once you've been enlightened by the manifest divinity on offer, will you willingly come to Him.

It can be a long, arduous road to get to Jesus. Often, you have to hit bottom before you can.

The truth is as plain as the nose on your face, or as the birds singing in the trees: once you find Jesus, your life can, and will never, be the same.

His sermons are the stuff of legend, and there are more than a few among us today who are but apostates to the real, living Jesus.

For verily I say unto thee, that first there was Rap, that doth begat Hip-Hop, that begat MCs who spake their braggadocio unto the land with great fury, and spat fire in rhyme upon the land and the waters.

These MCs hath bragged and boasted upon their poetic prowess, until Jesus came among them and hath made Holy Verses of humility and grace, about the Killer Inside Him and how Truth had gone Out Of Style.

And his words of self-effacement and pathos ne'er seen upon the land went out as a beacon, and doth begat the Loser "Beck," and the Mathers of the Marshall, and countless other prophets.

And so, we come unto thee now with the Joyous message of Jesus, that you might bask in the eternal glow of his wisdom and the boundlessness of his microphone-borne artistry.

MC 900 Ft. Jesus
Szene Wien
Vienna, Austria

01 FM interview & intro by Werner Geier
02 Falling Elevators
03 Adventures In Failure
04 I'm Going Straight to Heaven
05 The City Sleeps
06 Truth Is Out of Style
07 Killer Inside Me
08 O-Zone
09 Spaceman
10 FM outro by Werner Geier

Total time: 44:22

MC 900 Ft. Jesus (Mark Griffin) - vocals, percussion & trumpet
Mitch Marine - drums & percussion
Chris McGuire - saxophones, bass clarinet & percussion
Baby G - turntables & electronics

off-air master cassette of the original "Music Box Live" Austrian FM broadcast
DJ chatter edited -- with tape flip in Track 06 patched with extracted mono VHS audio taped in Moers, Germany on 6.7.1992 -- by EN, June 2022

And the tape did need Lo! The mightiest of necromancies to resurrect the missing gospels from the Sacred Texts contained therein, and thy humble servant did spendeth 11 hours on precisely sixteen seconds of audio to maketh the gospels whole again.

Now, let us pray.

As we lower our heads in humble meditation, let us reflect upon Our Lord's release of this tape -- minus thy servant's recent repairs -- on his Facebook page in mp3 form 10 years ago, and how this version is meant to losslessly supplant that now-long-gone Sacred Scroll of the Savior.

I shall return next weekend with music to cause riots and great conflagrations -- complete with the gnashing of teeth -- in the concert halls.

For this moment, my children, you need only kneel in genuflective adoration as the mighty MC 900 Ft. Jesus -- real name: Mark Griffin, real birthday not known... but he's 65 this year so we're using the 30th anniversary of this utterly ridiculous performance to honor him -- layeth his hands upon thee and sootheth thy brow with his articulations going straight to Heaven.-J.

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